After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
