If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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