Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
