escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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