Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
