Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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