were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
handjob tips. give me some.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
