UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
