I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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