oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
