Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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