Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
