i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
that may or may not have been my penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
