One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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