We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
