We're facebook friends in real life
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
