This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
