Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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