He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
