I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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