He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
