Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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