Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
