I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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