Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
