why didn't you poke me back
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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