you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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