i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
