I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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