I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it's like iHOP with fire
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
