At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
