The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
