i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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