just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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