put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
accomplished twins. life is a go
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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