I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
bring money and cleavage
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
