your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize