you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
