you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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