hell yes lets make some ravioli
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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