we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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