New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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