I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
