peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
God I need to hump something, right now.
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