So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
