There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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