32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize