Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
