no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
