I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
