If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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