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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
