so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
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