This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Say something about gay babies.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
