fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
