I could make wine with my vomit
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
