Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
