Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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