I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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