Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize