I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
