So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize