i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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