that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize