she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish i was in the wii world.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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