She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
