THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
