so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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