be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
