I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
