FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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