my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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