He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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