All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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