she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
