Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
